Tandoorish Chicken

1/2 c Bulgarian yogurt (runny)
juice of half a lemon
1/4 c coconut cream
1 T honey
4 cloves garlic, diced
1 T prepared curry paste
1 t ground cumin
1 t hot paprika
1/2 t fresh grated nutmeg
1/8 t fresh grated cinnamon
1/2 t ground turmeric
pinch kosher salt

3-5 chicken leg quarters

Mix the ingredients together in a glass bowl. Leave it at room temperature for half an hour or so to let the flavors marry before tasting, then adjust seasoning as thou wilt.

Separate the chicken into legs and thighs. Skin them and trim off excess fat. What will you do with all that fat and skin, you ask? Oh my fucking god, I answer, make cracklins! These are seriously awesome. They're only about a zillion times better than popcorn as a munchie, and thirty gajillion times better than bacos for a salad or potato topping.

Stab the chicken thoroughly and make some shallow knife slits as well. Put it in a heavy-duty Ziploc, pour in the marinade, squeeze out as much of the air as you can, seal, and put in the fridge for at least 6 hours, but no longer than 24.

Real tandoori bakes in a clay oven at over 600F. If you happen to have a clay oven handy that'll get that hot, good for you. If not, you can use a covered charcoal grill with the grill rack at least 5 inches from the coals, or just broil at 475F for 20-30 minutes until the temperature in the center of the thighs reaches 170F.

Serve with Completely Inauthentic Indian Potatoes And Peas.

Candied Ginger Vegetable Curry

Inspired by a Bulgarian hangover breakfast.

1 medium onion, sliced
1 medium potato, 1/2 inch dice
splash olive oil
handful okra, chopped
1 red bell pepper, coarsely chopped
1 cup Bulgarian yogurt (runnier than normal Dannon, or just plain yogurt thinned out with a couple tablespoons of water or white wine)
1 T curry paste
1 t garlic powder
1 t sweet paprika
half dozen grape tomatoes or 1 small roma, chopped
half dozen pieces candied ginger
kosher salt

First: Candied ginger is absurdly easy to make. You can easily find plenty of recipes for it. I'll post mine later.

Put olive oil in a nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the onion, potato, and a pinch of kosher salt, and saute, tossing occasionally, until the onion is translucent.

Reduce heat to low. Add the yogurt and curry paste and stir until well-combined. Mix in the okra, ginger, tomatoes, garlic powder, and paprika. Cover and simmer for half an hour until the potatoes are tender. Add the bell pepper, turn off the heat, and cover for 5 minutes.

Serve over brown rice or some other favored starch.

Curried Seitan With Vegetables

So, I'm not a big fan of seitan - done right and in some kind of stew application it's nearly indistinguishable from meat, so what's the point?

Well, if you've ever despaired of communicating what cut of meat you want from a butcher with whom you have no language in common and it's the end of a long, hot, sticky day and your air conditioner keeps freezing up and leaking water all over your coffee table, and you just don't have the energy to deal with One. More. Thing, you'd understand the point.

I started with this recipe, adapted for my preferences and on-hand.

8 ounces beef flavor seitan
2 T oil
8 oz mushrooms, coarsely chopped
1/2 bell pepper cut in large squares
1 onion, sliced
2 green onions, sliced in 1-inch lengths

marinade:
dash coconut cream
dash Worcestershire sauce
1/2 T green curry paste
1 T peanut butter
1 oz fond
juice of 1/2 lemon
splash water

curry sauce:
2 T green curry paste
1 can coconut cream
dash Worcestershire sauce
1 T chunky rooster sauce
3 large cloves garlic, smashed and minced

Mix up the marinade in a large bowl; cut up the seitan and let it marinate while preparing the curry sauce. Mix the sauce ingredients in a saucepan and bring to a simmer over low heat.

Meanwhile, brown the seitan with the marinade in the oil in a skillet over medium-high heat. When the sauce is simmering, add the mushrooms, bell pepper, and onion. When the seitan is well-browned add it as well. Simmer for  10 minutes, add the green onion, and simmer for 5 minutes more.

Serve over starch, rice or cubed potatoes.

This Is How You Empty A Fridge

Ginger Filet of Beef

1 6-8 oz sirloin or filet
kosher salt
1 T ginger-scallion oil

Pan-sear the filet and finish in the oven as described here, but without peppercorns. Spoon the ginger-scallion oil over the meat immediately after removing from the oven and allow to rest.

Passionfruit Curried Cauliflower

half-dozen cauliflower florets, quartered
1/2 red onion, chopped
1/2 jalapeño, seeded and chopped

pinch kosher salt

1 T olive oil

1/2 c passionfruit juice drink
1 T green curry paste
1 t cornstarch
5 canned white asparagus spears
1/2 small cucumber, chopped
handful cilantro leaves, chopped
1 lemon wedge

Heat oil in a nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Saute the cauliflower, onion, and jalapeño with a pinch of kosher salt until they just start to soften. Add the passionfruit drink and curry paste, stir to mix, and bring to a low boil until the liquid reduces by about a third. Mix the cornstarch in a little water to make a slurry, add and stir until thickened. Remove from heat and add the cilantro, asparagus, and cucumber. Squeeze in the lemon just before serving.

Served with leftover miso rice.

Phuket BBQ sauce

Yeah, I know, it's not really pronounced that way. But phuket.

I felt like something spicy and aromatic, so I started with a basic recipe for Kansas City BBQ sauce and went nuts.

1 onion
1/2 bulb garlic
1 peach or other stone fruit, very ripe
2 T toasted sesame oil
2 T sweet paprika
1 T chili powder
crushed red pepper to taste
1/4 cup dark brown sugar
1 cup ketchup
1/4 cup vinegar
juice of half a lemon plus water to make 1/4 cup
1 T green curry paste
1/2 t grated fresh nutmeg or cinnamon
kosher salt

Dice the onion finely and saute with a pinch of kosher salt in the sesame oil over medium heat until the onion is well-caramelized. Separate the garlic cloves, mash and mince and add to the onion along with the brown sugar, paprika, chili powder, and crushed red pepper. Saute, stirring, for a minute or two until you can smell the garlic.

Reduce heat and add ketchup, vinegar, lemon juice and water, and curry paste. Dice the peach finely and add it along with the grated nutmeg or cinnamon. Simmer covered for at least half an hour, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat and allow to cool, and then you can puree with a stick blender if desired. I like the chunky bits.

I've got a pan of chicken legs in the oven right now, liberally doused.

Turkey Tornado Tit over miso rice with parsnip and radish salad

2 lb turkey breast

1 bulb garlic

1/2 c olive oil

green curry paste

1 c brown rice, uncooked

2 T miso paste

8 oz mushrooms

1/2 T butter or margarine

1/2 red bell pepper

Worcestershire sauce

4-6 medium radishes

2 parsnips

1 T extra-virgin olive oil

1 t wine vinegar

pinch cumin

pinch kosher salt

black pepper to taste

Preheat the oven to 350F. Break apart the garlic bulb, bruise and peel the cloves. Slice the turkey breast into strips about an inch, inch-and-a-half thick and half the length of the breast. Rub them with the curry paste, no more than half a teaspoon or so per strip. You're not going for anything like full coverage, you just want to get enough in there for some good flavor without overwhelming it.

Oh. Yeah. Premade curry paste. Well, look, if you have a good source for kaffir lime leaves and zest, lemongrass, galangal (which I don't even know what the heck that is) and you want to spend an afternoon cooking up a batch, knock yourself out. But there's plenty of good stuff available in your local oriental grocery. It's cheap, it's yummy, and it'll keep forever in the fridge.

Anyway...get a cast-iron skillet very hot on the stovetop, and sear the turkey strips, a couple minutes on each side. Don't crowd the pan, do it in batches if you have to. When it's all seared take the skillet off the heat, put all the turkey back in, sprinkle on the garlic cloves and pour in 1/2 cup of olive oil. Cover the skillet (tinfoil is OK if it doesn't have a lid) and put it in the oven at 350F for 45 minutes. This is sort of a bastardized version of the procedure from 40 Cloves And A Chicken.

Put the brown rice in a pot with 2 cups of water and 2 tablespoons of miso paste. Bring to a boil, stir to dissolve the miso, then reduce heat and simmer until all the water is absorbed. If you start it right after the turkey goes in the oven they should be ready more or less together.

Melt the butter or margarine in a small saucepan. Quarter the mushrooms and let them cook, covered, over medium-low heat until they turn dark and give up their liquid. Slice half a bell pepper into strips. Toss the pepper with the mushrooms, season with a few dashes of Worcestershire, then cover and turn off the heat.

Slice the radishes and the parsnips into thin rounds, dress with wine vinegar and extra-virgin olive oil, a pinch of cumin and kosher salt, and grind on black pepper to taste. Oh yeah, I bought a can of those little Oriental baby corns to put in the salad but I forgot. D'oh. Bet they would've been really tasty.

The garlic cloves will have gone soft and taken on a delicious mild, nutty flavor, so plate the turkey on a bed of rice with some of the garlic and spoon on a bit of the drippings. You can have the mushroom/pepper medly as a side like I did, or put it on top of the rice if you're into vertical food.

Tip: If the parnsips aren't really really fresh, if they've started to get even the tiniest bit rubbery, a soak in an icewater bath will firm them up.